Day 8…Minnesota Family visit…The illness continues…

Here we are, eight days into our twenty-three nights in Minnesota, and it feels as if time has taken on a strange, heavy quality. The days pass, but not in the usual way marked by plans or small adventures. Instead, they blur together in a haze of coughing, fatigue, and the quiet hope that tomorrow might finally be the turning point. So far, it hasn’t been.

As of today, I have been battling this dreadful RSV virus for twenty-four days. Saying that number out loud feels almost unreal. It’s over three full weeks of this relentless illness, and still no clear end is in sight. Just when I thought perhaps I was inching toward improvement, my body had other plans. Over the past few days, I developed what can only be described as a full-blown sinus infection. It arrived with a vengeance, the kind that makes your head feel as if it cannot possibly contain the pressure building inside it.

Every time I coughed, it felt like my head might explode. That is not an exaggeration. It was a sharp, bursting pain that stopped me in my tracks and made even the simplest movement feel daunting. I have had sinus infections many times over the years, usually after the flu or another virus, so I recognized the signs immediately. There is a certain familiarity to it, an unfortunate knowing that settles in when you realize your body has gone down this road again.

Thankfully, I travel with the same antibiotics that have worked for me in the past when these infections refuse to resolve on their own. A few days ago, I started the prescribed dose, hopeful but cautious. Today, for the first time, I noticed a subtle shift. My head no longer throbs when I cough, and the cough itself feels a bit looser, less harsh and unyielding. It is not a full recovery by any means, but it is something. And right now, something at all feels hopeful.

Tom, on the other hand, is not improving. Watching him struggle has been difficult, especially knowing how stubborn he can be when it comes to seeking medical care. For days, I have gently encouraged, and at times firmly insisted, that he go to Urgent Care. Each time, he has hesitated, convinced that he needs more time. But this morning, there was a shift in him. Perhaps it is the sheer exhaustion or the realization that things are not getting better. He said he would decide after his nap, depending on how he feels when he wakes up. I am hoping that today will be the day he chooses to go.

Even the smallest tasks have become monumental. This morning, we faced the simple necessity of doing laundry. Under normal circumstances, it would be a minor inconvenience at most. Today, it felt like climbing a mountain. Tom insisted on carrying the heavy plastic bag filled with our dirty clothes, despite his obvious weakness. I watched him, wanting to take it from him, but also knowing how important it is for him to feel some sense of control.

His trips back and forth to the hotel laundry room were exhausting. Each step felt deliberate, as if his legs were weighed down by something unseen. There is a strange sensation that comes with this kind of illness, where your body no longer feels like your own. Our legs moved slowly, heavily, as though they were laden with lead. Walking was not just tiring, it was painful.

Folding the clothes became my task, and even that required more effort than I thought possible. I found myself pausing often, sitting when I could, gathering the energy to continue. Meanwhile, Tom focused on washing his button-down shirts, the ones that had remained untouched since the cruise. It seemed important to him to get them done, perhaps as a way of reclaiming a small piece of normal life.

Somehow, we managed to finish it all. How, I honestly do not know. There was no sense of accomplishment, only relief that it was over. We returned to our room, both of us depleted, moving slowly and carefully as if any sudden motion might undo what little strength we had left.

And so, this is where we are today. No exciting updates, no new sights or experiences to share. Just two weary travelers, sidelined by an illness that has taken far more than we expected. We are holding on to the smallest signs of progress, hoping they will lead to something more. For now, that will have to be enough.

Be well.

Photo from ten years ago today, May 24, 2016:

Gede, our houseman in Bali, with his gracious parents. For more photos, please click here.

Day 6…Minnesota Family visit…The days roll into another in a blur…

We loved all the flowers that were beginning to bloom in Bali ten years ago.

As we make our way through each day and night, stomachs and chests aching from the constant coughing, we find ourselves asking the same quiet question over and over again. When will this end? It lingers in the background of everything, from the moment we wake to the long hours we lie awake listening to each other struggle through another coughing spell. There is no clear answer, only the passage of time marked by tissues, restless sleep, and the dull soreness that never quite fades.

It has been twenty-two days for me now. That number feels heavy, as if it should come with some sense of progress or relief. Instead, I am stuck in this strange in-between place. I am no longer at my worst, yet nowhere near well. Tom is only nine days in, and I can already see the road stretching out ahead of him. If this virus follows the same path it has taken with me, he still has a long way to go to reach this point, this frustrating plateau where improvement is so slow it is almost invisible.

The coughing is what wears us down the most. It is constant and unproductive, offering no sense of release or closure. Each cough feels like it should lead to something, some clearing or easing, but it never does. Instead, it leaves behind a sharp ache in the chest and a lingering irritation that builds until the next round begins. There is no pattern to it, not predictable in a way we can brace ourselves for. It simply comes, again and again, day and night.

Yesterday, we read that a cough from RSV can linger for as long as eight weeks. Eight weeks. The number felt almost impossible when we first saw it, yet here we are, already deep into that timeline. If that estimate holds, we will still be coughing when we arrive in Marloth Park in twenty days. That thought sits uneasily with me. I try not to dwell on it, but it is hard to ignore the reality of what our bodies are telling us.

I do not like to be negative, but there is a difference between negativity and honesty. We have learned over the years that acknowledging what is in front of us, even when it is uncomfortable, is often the only way to move through it. I do not believe I am still contagious, though there is no absolute certainty. Tom’s case is even more uncertain. His symptoms did not begin until over two weeks after mine, which leaves us questioning everything we thought we understood about the timeline.

Out of an abundance of caution, he has chosen to stay away from family. It is not an easy decision, especially when we are so close, but it feels like the responsible one. Instead, our days pass, one rolling into another. He naps on and off, his body clearly asking for more rest than usual. I find myself dozing here and there as well, though never deeply enough to feel fully restored. Sleep comes in fragments, interrupted by coughing and the discomfort that follows.

On Sunday night, I plan to go out with my son, Greg, to celebrate his girlfriend Heather’s birthday. He is picking me up at seven to take me to her party, about a half-hour drive from here. Even writing that feels like a small step forward. I know I will have to push myself. The idea of being out late, of making conversation, and being present feels daunting in my current state. Still, I also know that I need to begin reentering the world, however slowly.

There is a delicate balance between listening to our bodies and not allowing this illness to define our days completely. I am not sure I will get it right, but I am willing to try. More than anything, I look forward to the day when this is behind us, when the coughing fades into memory, and we can once again move through our days without this constant weight.

For now, we wait, we rest, and we hope.

Be well.

Photo from ten years ago today, May 22, 2016

This close-up of my dinner in Bali, made by the two Ketuts, a few nights ago, appears to show there’s a lot of chicken on this plate. But once I dig in, there are only a few good bites on each leg and thigh section. Tom eats the two breasts, which are a little meatier, but the dark meat, which I prefer, is sparse because the chickens are locally raised and free-range. For more photos, please click here.