Last night, when Tom returned from Patty’s 90th birthday party, which I didn’t attend due to my current lack of mobility, I told Tom I needed to order a wheelchair from Amazon. Many of our readers wrote with this suggestion, to which I cringed for the reasons listed below. In my mind, doing so was “giving up.”
But I am not giving up. I am heading to Cleveland to hopefully resolve this breathlessness issue once and for all. This is not giving up. It’s moving forward with the utmost will and determination, especially after all these five months of waiting for the upcoming appointments beginning on August 28.
This breathlessness has occurred over the past three weeks, and I couldn’t wait another day. I’ve been unable to go anywhere to see family and friends since I can’t walk more than 20 steps before I have to stop and catch my breath. With only eight days remaining in Minnesota until we leave on August 25, I wanted to be able to get out.
I only need a wheelchair that is light, foldable, and easy for Tom to push me. We’ll be fine if we can fit it into the SUV we’re renting to get us to Cleveland. Once we’re at the clinic, we won’t have to wait to get a wheelchair, and we can use it at the hotel where we’ll stay during the first week.
Hesitancy to use a wheelchair can stem from a variety of emotional, social, and psychological factors. For many, the decision to use a wheelchair can feel like a significant and sometimes daunting step. Here’s a closer look at why someone might feel hesitant:
- Loss of Independence: Using a wheelchair might feel like a loss of independence or a symbol of decline. People often equate walking with autonomy, and the idea of relying on a wheelchair can challenge that perception.
- Stigma and Judgment: Society sometimes holds misconceptions about wheelchair users, associating wheelchairs with severe disability or a lack of capability. This can make individuals hesitant to use one due to fear of being judged or viewed differently.
- Identity and Acceptance: For those who are new to mobility challenges, using a wheelchair may feel like an admission of a new identity as someone with a disability. Accepting this new aspect of their identity can be complex and emotional.
- Emotional Adjustment: The need for a wheelchair can be sudden or gradual, and the emotional adjustment to this reality can take time. It involves processing feelings of grief, loss, or frustration about changes in physical ability.
- Practical Concerns: People might worry about navigating environments, especially in spaces that are not fully accessible. Concerns about logistics, like transporting the wheelchair or managing it in various settings, can contribute to hesitancy.
- Impact on Relationships: Some may worry about how using a wheelchair will affect their relationships, fearing it could change dynamics with family, friends, or romantic partners.
- Denial or Optimism: Hoping that mobility might improve or that a wheelchair won’t be necessary can delay the decision. This optimism can be both a source of strength and a barrier to accepting current needs.
- Financial Considerations: The cost of wheelchairs and potential modifications to living spaces can be a significant factor in the decision-making process.
If you’re hesitant about using a wheelchair, it’s essential to give yourself time to process these feelings. Reaching out to others who have gone through similar experiences, speaking with a therapist, or joining support groups can be helpful. Transitioning to using a wheelchair can be a positive step toward greater mobility, comfort, and independence, even if it initially feels challenging.
It was not an easy decision for me, but I was inspired by many of our readers’ suggestions (Thank you! You know who you are.) and my recent inability to spend time with those I love before we depart a week from tomorrow.
Be well.
Photo from ten years ago today, August 17, 2014:
Hey Jess, I agree, it’s not “giving up.” Would we say don’t get hearing aids or wear glasses if you have trouble seeing and hearing? No! This is no different. While it takes time to come to terms with it, it can be a beloved helper instead of a hated symbol of helplessness! I had to come to terms with it many months ago and am waiting on my specialty power chair due to an energy limiting illness. It will allow me to have a better quality of life (as it will for you and many others) than without it. It’s a helpful tool in my arsenal, and just one of many that allow me to live better.
I know it was hard, but it’s definitely not giving up. And a big hurrah for giving yourself permission to use it, it will pay off!
Lisa, thank you for your ongoing support. It means the world to me
I am so sorry you’ve continued with health issues but you are a beacon of strength and encouragement.
Much love,
Jess
Hi,
Yes it is quite an emotional decision to get a wheel chair. You could certainly borrow mine instead of ordering one, of you’d like. I could drop it off later today, Saturday or tomorrow Sunday. I’ve had it for various operations, ankle, knees. Let me know.
Joanette, you are so sweet! I will never forget your keto muffins when we had Covid and again at our get-together.
We need the wheelchair to go with us to Cleveland and after my surgery. It was only $119 and will get plenty of use. Hopefully by the time we’re ready to travel we can sell it or donate it.
Hope you are well.
Much love,
Jess
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