A sorrowful year-ago post…

Big Daddy, as seen on the trail cam last night.

The past few days, I haven’t been my usual cheerful self. I blamed it on taking antibiotics for my bad tooth, the one that had a root canal done by Dr. Singh in Malalane almost two months ago, and still hurts when I brush my teeth. He explained a week ago, if the antibiotics don’t work, I will have to have the tooth pulled. Today is day three of five on the pills, and I’m not experiencing relief as yet.

The Imposter trying to get comfortable to take a nap with his tusks in the way.

Usually, by the third day of taking antibiotics, one often begins to feel relief from their infection. Although I prefer to get optimistic, at this point, my optimism is fading fast. Sure, losing a tooth isn’t a big deal in the realm of things, especially when it’s the furthest back molar. If it left a gaping hole, it wouldn’t be noticed when I eat, laugh or talk. But, I spent my entire life taking good care of my teeth, and surely this issue is a part of aging more than from a lack of good dental hygiene, facing all of us as we age.

Also, as I’ve pined the past few days since we decided to leave Africa in 58 days, I’ve found myself feeling melancholy, as evidenced in yesterday’s post here. This is quite unusual for me, when most of the time, I am upbeat and cheerful. Then today, when I reread the post of my dear sister Susan’s passing while we were in lockdown in India, it dawned on me that I have been grieving her loss all over again.

Spikey is too cute for words. He stops by several times a day often with his mom.

Many experience a resurgence of grief on the anniversary of their loved one’s passing. In actuality, she passed away on August 16th, but I didn’t write the tribute to her until August 24th. When she died, I was caught up in our new site going live and its many issues in the process, and oddly, I kept some of my emotions at bay until the site was working and I could allow myself to grieve. I did so writing this post, dated one year ago today.

And today, as I  began to reread it, I asked Tom to let me read it aloud to him. I did so while he waited patiently, while I stopped several times, overcome with tears, in an attempt to continue. Sharing this with Tom, once again, helped me so much. When I was done, I felt better already.

Mr, Hornbill doesn’t stay still long enough for a good photo, but we’re happy to see him and his three companions several times a day.

I knew that the sadness I’ve been feeling these past several days had everything to do with losing Susan, coupled with the knowledge and acceptance of leaving Marloth Park in less than two months, and little to do with taking antibiotics and the prospect of losing a tooth. It’s funny how we do that. We cry over something insignificant when, in fact, we’re crying over something else, something big, something meaningful.

So, now I’ve shaken myself off, so to speak, and put on my “big girl pants,” and I am getting ready for tonight’s dinner party here at our house in the bush. There will only be the six of us, Kathy and Don and Linda and Ken since Rita and Gerhard are yet to return from their trip. But, six is ideal for the small table and accommodates the sparse number of matching dishes in this house.

It’s always delightful to see a young-growing “Big Daddy.”

It will be a leisurely dinner, not typical of “the olden days,” where I prepped and cooked for hours. We’ll start with easy appetizers during sundowners, and dinner will consist of bacon-wrapped filet mignon, baked potatoes with sour cream, vegetables, and salad. The evening will end with the choice of a dozen ice cream bars we purchased yesterday at the little store. Easy peasy.

Once the table is cleared, Tom will do the dishes, and my work will be done. Right now, this suits me just fine. Linda and Ken are leaving soon to return to the UK and may not return for a while, not unlike us. Kathy and Don will return to their home in Hawaii for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Rita and Gerhard are leaving within a week for Germany to see family. Most of all, we’re looking forward to spending time with our friends tonight and avoiding being trapped in the kitchen.

Looking for morsels of food.

The uncertainty of travel in times of Covid-19 has impacted us all. We are not unique in our decision to return to the place in the world that feels the safest and provides us all with a degree of comfort and peace of mind, coupled with future time spent with family and friends wherever they may be.

So that’s it, dear readers. I need to get back to a few remaining tasks for tonight’s dinner. It’s a beautiful day and should remain comfortable well into the evening.

Enjoy your day and be well.

Photo from one year ago today, August 24, 2020:

This flower was posted one year ago today, in a tribute I wrote to my sister Susan who passed away a few days earlier while we were in lockown on day #154. Aptly, named a” bleeding heart..”  If you missed this post or would like to reread it, please click here.

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