The joys of friendship can’t be matched…

My dear friend Lisa for the past 36 years.

I had such fun with my dear friend Lisa at lunch yesterday that I forgot to take a photo of the two of us. Instead, I used the above photo she took in the restaurant parking lot. As I often do without a thought, I took photos of our delicious meals at Jimmy’s Kitchen in Minnetonka, my favorite restaurant at the moment, but failed to take photos of the humans. Lisa and I became friends in 1988, and over the past 36 years, we’ve easily stayed in touch through many life changes.

Last summer, when we were in Florida, staying at The Villages, she and her friend Vicki joined Tom and me for dinner in one of the popular village squares. We had a great time then, but there was something special about just the two of us having a 3½ hour “girl’s lunch.”

It isn’t often that I have an opportunity to enjoy old or new friends on my own, no offense intended to my dear Tom. Conversation can be different and more vulnerable when in the presence of girlfriends on my own. I easily recall all those delightful lunches with my girlfriends in Marloth Park at Stoep Cafe. Gosh, I miss those days.

Friendships are essential to life, providing emotional support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. Throughout our lives, friendships can influence our happiness, health, and overall well-being. The value of friendships extends beyond the social sphere, impacting our mental and physical health, personal development, and even our longevity.

One of the most significant values of friendships is the emotional support they offer. Friends provide a safe space for expressing feelings, sharing experiences, and seeking advice. According to psychologists, friendships help individuals navigate life’s challenges by offering emotional resilience and reducing feelings of isolation. Having close friends can buffer against the negative effects of stress and improve our overall sense of well-being.

Friends also play a critical role in shaping our identities and self-esteem. Positive feedback and validation from friends reinforce self-worth and confidence. Furthermore, friendships encourage personal growth by exposing individuals to diverse perspectives and experiences.

The benefits of friendships extend to physical health as well. Research has shown that strong social connections can lead to better health outcomes and increased longevity. A study conducted by researchers at Brigham Young University and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill revealed that individuals with strong social ties had a 50% higher survival rate than those with weaker social connections. This effect is comparable to the benefits of quitting smoking or regular physical activity.

Lisa enjoyed her walleye and vegetables.

Friendships can also contribute to healthier lifestyles. Friends often engage in shared activities such as exercising, cooking healthy meals, or participating in sports, which promote physical health. Additionally, friends can offer encouragement and accountability, making it easier to maintain healthy habits and make positive lifestyle changes.

Friendships play a crucial role in personal development and growth. Through interactions with friends, we can learn important social skills such as communication, conflict resolution, and cooperation. These skills are essential not only for personal relationships but also for professional success.

Friends also serve as role models and sources of inspiration. Observing their achievements and qualities can motivate us to set higher goals and strive for self-improvement. The support and encouragement from friends can boost confidence and help overcome obstacles, leading to personal growth and success.

Moreover, friendships provide opportunities for new experiences and adventures. Friends often introduce each other to new hobbies, interests, and cultures, broadening horizons and enriching lives. These shared experiences create lasting memories and strengthen bonds, contributing to a sense of fulfillment and happiness.

The value of friendships extends beyond individual benefits, impacting society and culture as a whole. Friendships promote social cohesion and community engagement. Strong social networks create supportive communities where individuals look out for one another, fostering a sense of belonging and mutual aid.

Friendships can bridge cultural and social divides in diverse societies, promoting understanding and tolerance. By forming friendships with individuals from different backgrounds, people can challenge stereotypes and prejudices, leading to more inclusive and harmonious communities. According to sociologist Dr. Robert Putnam, social networks, including friendships, play a vital role in building social capital, which is essential for the functioning of democratic societies.

My lunch of seared tuna at Jimmy’s.

While friendships have numerous benefits, maintaining them requires effort and commitment. Life transitions such as moving, changing jobs, or starting a family can strain friendships. Effective communication, mutual respect, and understanding are crucial for sustaining long-term friendships. Making time for friends, showing appreciation, and addressing conflicts constructively is also important.

In the digital age, social media and technology have transformed the way we form and maintain friendships. While these tools can help stay connected, they also present challenges such as superficial interactions and reduced face-to-face communication. Balancing online interactions with in-person connections is essential for maintaining deep and meaningful friendships.

Friendships are invaluable assets that enrich our lives in countless ways. They provide emotional support, contribute to physical health, foster personal growth, and strengthen social cohesion. Despite the challenges of maintaining friendships, the rewards far outweigh the effort. Investing in friendships is investing in a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. As the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson aptly said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” By nurturing our friendships, we create a network of love, support, and shared experiences that enhance our well-being and enrich our journey through life.

Throughout my adult life, I have found that making a concerted effort to develop friendships is necessary. They rarely develop without any effort, time, and planning. The end result is certainly worth the effort. However, I find it to be ironic how when we meet that special person with whom we connect in a magical way, a friendship can blossom with ease.

Be well.

Photo from ten years ago today, August 2, 2014:

Tom was fairly relaxed at the Lisbon Airport during a long layover.
Tom took this photo of me at the Lisbon Airport. For more, please click here.

Last night’s fantastic surprise at Billy’s Bar & Grill!…

Tom and his long-time friend Tommy, whom he worked with for 42 years on the railroad. Tommy, a long-time reader of our posts, saw in yesterday’s post that we’d be at Billy’s and decided to stop by and see us! What a wonderful surprise!

It felt good to get out again after being sick for over a week. We made the 45-minute drive in traffic to Billy’s Bar & Grill in Anoka and were delighted to see some of Tom’s siblings and nieces once again. Sisters Margie, Colleen, Mary (and BIL Eugene), and Patty attended, as did nieces Jean and Kathy.

Happy hour began at 3:30, and we could all take advantage of special pricing on drinks. Since I hadn’t had a drink in two weeks, I ordered a small serving of Cabernet Sauvignon and an unsweetened iced tea to sip back and forth between the two. As it turned out, I had several glasses of tea (free refills), and the wine lasted the entire time.

Shortly after our beverages arrived, I noticed a man come up behind Tom and began massaging his shoulders. I didn’t recognize him for a second, but after another moment, I knew who it was and was delighted to see Tom’s (our) old friend Tommy, whom we hadn’t seen in several years.

Over the years of our world travels, both Toms have stayed in touch, but often, he and his dear wife Carrie were in Arizona, where they spend part of each winter to escape Minnesota’s cold and snowy climate, as is the case for many Minnesotans. The winter travelers are often referred to as “snowbirds.”

Tom, Tommy, and BIL Eugene had a lively conversation. As you can see, Tom used his hands to talk, which always made me smile.

Moments after he and Tom exchanged warm greetings, Tommy meandered his way over to the opposite side of the large round table where I was seated, and he and I chatted for quite a while. I knew Tom was choppin’ at the bit to talk to him, so finally, I encouraged him to return to the other side of the table. Tom pulled up a chair for him, and the lively and animated conversations began.

As shown in the above photo, Tom was so happy to see him. His hands were talking, and so was his voice, a habit I find adorable. I can almost tell what he’s talking about by watching his hands, although they do not resemble sign language. I couldn’t tell what they were talking about from my place at the table, but I could tell they were having a great time.

The evening flew by in a blur, and after we said our goodbyes to Tommy, we engaged with the family, and before too long, we were on our way back to the hotel, arriving by about 8:00 pm. We settled in for the night, streamed a few shows, and headed to bed by 11:00 pm.

It was a fitful night, but we’re doing well. Tom left a while ago to swap out the rental car for another and will return shortly. At 2:00 pm, we’ll drive less than a mile to Cub Food to pick up our week’s groceries from an order I placed this morning. I will make a beef stir fry tomorrow, enough to last a few nights.

Today at 4:40, we’ll drive to Chanhassen to meet Peggy and Maury for dinner at Houlihans, which has an excellent menu suitable for my way of eating. It will be another good day.

Be well.

Photo from ten years ago today, June 29, 2014:

This is a view of the living room in the house we booked for Australia in the coming months. For more photos, please click here.