Not roughing it…

We aren’t backpackers. We aren’t hikers, mountain climbers, white water rafters or campers. Maybe, just maybe, we’re zipliners. We like air conditioning, iced tea with lots of ice, salad with dinner, fluffy bath towels and 600 count Egyptian cotton sheets. 

Oddly enough, we don’t care for sightseeing.  We force ourselves to go to the Minnesota State Fair, every three or four years, rarely trying any of the overpriced, unhealthy “things on a stick.”  

We seldom go to the movies, instead preferring to watch it later “On Demand” in our own time, sitting in our comfy chairs while enjoying a low carb, gluten free homemade dessert.

But, we do like the laughter of our grandchildren running wildly through our house, the smell of my mother’s recipe for pot roast slowly baking in the oven on a cold day, sitting at the end of the dock watching the bottom feeder fish jump into the air on a warm summer night before the mosquitoes start biting.

We love entertaining family or friends for brunch or for dinner, serving foods we know they’ll like, befitting their “diet of the week” or special dietary needs. We love the ease we feel whether preparing an awe inspiring gourmet meal or simply burgers on the grill.

We love the well-fed and appreciative smiles on our guests faces as they finally go their way, giddy from the copious glasses of good wine, good food and the constant laughter.

We love nature; the cardinal alighting on a branch, the white albino squirrel leaping from tree to tree, a miniature red cedar sapling growing in the stone patio or the spunky yellow day lilies that bloom every year with so little care.

We love the fluffy white pillows created from the falling of fresh snow when we know we can stay inside, feeling that special sense of comfort that we Minnesotans somehow find so familiar and peaceful.

Will we see the Sistene Chapel?  (Last week, a young pop star on David Letterman’s show referred to it as the “Sixteenth Chapel! Hahaha!).

Maybe we will, depending on the crowds, our mood, the weather, the convenience. But, we’ll walk with the locals and their chickens along the road in Tuscany to the outdoor market each day to buy fresh brown eggs and freshly picked brightly colored pesticide free produce. 

No, we’re not backpackers or sightseeing fanatics. We’ll be two 60 something retired people living an ordinary life, that are easily entertained by simple pleasures, many of which will change, many of which won’t be available and many of which will be new or different.

As long as we can breathe the fresh air, be a part of Mother Nature’s bounty, mingle with the people and their way of life, have a comfortable place to sleep and a couple of comfy chairs or sofa, we’ll only enhance the joy we’ll have carried along with us, not in our overloaded suitcases but, in our hearts.

He liked his shoes!…He liked my shoes!…

Buying gifts for Tom has always been a dilemma.  His hobby is ancestry.  What does one buy for a person obsessed with their ancestry?  He recently purchased another year of his annual dues for Ancestry.com.  Only a week ago, he purchased his DNA test from Ancestry.com to discover yet more about his roots. 

I could have presented him with a trip to Ireland to look for his ancestors, but duh, our travel plans are set for the next three years or more and, he’s already traveled to Ireland twice, BJ (before Jess).  

In the past, I have presented him with books, tools, electronic gadgets and household “fix-it” paraphernalia and, every other year, swim shorts with matching, colorful tee-shirts. This year I was at a loss. I couldn’t buy him anything other than that which he could put into his suitcases.

In an effort to ensure he had a nicely wrapped gift to open for Father’s Day, I reviewed the remaining items he needed for our adventure, deciding on the double duty aspect of giving him gifts while fine tuning his packing. Ah!

Yesterday morning after a breakfast of low carb, gluten free coconut flour pancakes, eggs and meaty bacon, I presented him with his gift, neatly wrapped in one big box with Happy Birthday paper (have to use that up) adorned with a matching black “guy” bow.  We were celebrating the last Father’s Day we’ll spend in our Minnesota home.

For Father’s Day I purchased three swim short sets for our travels.

When Tom left for a few hours yesterday morning for a traditional Father’s Day activity with some of our kids and grandchildren, I decided to do the unthinkable;  go to a mall!! His enthusiasm over his water shoes piqued my interest while I had visions of fancy high heels floating around my head for the many formal nights on the seven (so far) cruises we have booked.  

Tom has always loved seeing me wear high heels, mainly pumps, no toes showing. Over the years, I have worn them less and less, fearful of falling and injuring myself.  As the fashion trend to wear high heels (over 3″) has escalated (no pun intended) these past several years, I kept convincing myself that wearing high heeled shoes is bad. 

One pair “water” shoes on left, dress sandals on the right and “insect guard” long sleeve shirt and, what Tom refers to as the “French Foreign Legion” type hat with a neck protector that also has been treated with insect guard” 

Generally speaking, high heels aren’t comfortable. They pinch. They cause blisters. They cause corns and bunions neither of which I surprisingly don’t have, after years of wearing heels in the 70’s and 80’s. 

Adventuresome spirit possessing me lately (zip line still a maybe), I decided to do whatever I could to find a few comfortable pairs of three or four inch heels to wear with my dressy dresses on the formal nights aboard ship.  Comfortable heels? Oxymoron?

I decided to put my shoe size vanity aside (81/2) and buy a wider width of my otherwise normal width feet to see if this would reduce the discomfort.  Don’t get me wrong, I can easily walk in high heels after much experience, but comfort seems to be more of a need than a want once a person hits their 60’s.

While at the shoe store, I only grabbed the 81/2 W.  Amazing!  I found these two pairs of perfect styled shoes, albeit not the pumps Tom prefers, that will be divine matches for two of my three fancy dresses, but I had to order the third pair when they didn’t have them in stock.  Not only were they comfortable, I could almost jog in these heels.

Rather pleased with myself after the successful trip to the mall, I reveled in spending a grand total of only $73 for the four comfortable pairs of shoes.

Note that my new “water” shoes on the right are almost identical to Tom’s (although mine were less than 1/2 the price of his)!  Imagine, we’ll match!

Returning home in the early afternoon, I began preparing his choice of dinner, a repeat from only two weeks ago: low carb, gluten free, sugar free, wheat free, grain free homemade pizza. 

When Tom arrived home, I rushed him off to the bedroom to see the shoes.  He giggled that the water shoes matched his and he liked the bargain price of $73. But his eyes narrowed as he contemplated the strappy high heels sitting on the bed, as opposed to a closed, no-toes-showing, pump.  

One solution to those narrowed eyes; I put on the most strappy of the two pairs and began prancing around the room awaiting a reaction. He waited for me to wobble.  I didn’t.  He breathed a little sigh of relief.

And then, that appealing toothy smile came across his face along with the crinkling of the little lines around his blue eyes.  He liked the shoes.  

Paper towels and toilet paper…

While grocery shopping yesterday, I grabbed a 12 pack of my favorite paper towels.  Shocked by the outrageous price of $14.96, I stepped back while my eyes scanned the other options, all of which were lower priced.  I had tried the other towels over the years but none could equal my favorites.  (BTW, this is not an ad for paper towels.  Note, no mention of a brand.  Email or call me if you want the brand name).

Then it hit me!  On average I use two rolls of paper towels a month.  With slightly over four months until departure, we will end up with about three unused rolls of paper towels including the additional cleaning to do before we sign off on the house.  No need to buy the 12 pack.

With the eight pack in hand at $9.97, the math swirling around my head, I laughed aloud at my ridiculousness, threw the eight pack in the cart and moseyed over the toilet paper, again going through the same preposterous calculations.  

I passed on the toilet paper, having counted the eight rolls on the shelf above the toilet before heading to the grocery store this morning, as I often do.  No imminent need for the ultra soft, zillion sheets, favorite toilet paper either. (Please email or call for that brand).

Certainly, a reader of this blog thinks I am the female version of Howie Mandell. I am picky, but I can be kissed, hugged, shake hands and touch the rail on the escalator at the mall (although I seldom go to a mall preferring to shop online).  I wash my hands about 20 times a day, less from obsession, more from a logical desire for the safe handling of our food. 

OCD?? Not really.  I prefer to call it “detail orientated.”  Perfectionism?  I suppose, to a degree.  I have messy cupboards and drawers with the intent to prove that I’m not a perfectionist. After all, wouldn’t a perfectionist, try to be so perfect as to try not to appear to be a perfectionist? 

Who knows and basically, who cares?  No one. Tom is hardly annoyed.  Our kids think I’m weird in any case.  And, most of all, I am neither stressed nor suffer any angst as a result of it. Periodically, I engage in a bout of worry in the middle of the night.  Then again,  who doesn’t occasionally worry in the middle of the night?

Thus, I am a content “detail orientated” individual that may annoy some of the people some of the time that, if they choose, may tease me relentlessly and I will genuinely chuckle. 

Yes, I’m packing too much stuff.  Yes, I spend too much time looking for a better deal on a small item.  Yes, I will hang clothes in the shower to get out the wrinkles.  Yes, I will wear a different outfit every formal night aboard ship and have ample choices for Tom as well.  

Yes, I will continue my healthful, low carb, wheat, grain, sugar, starch and gluten free diet. (Tom, not so much, especially aboard ship). Yes, I will continue to workout and take a handful of supplements each day.  Yes, Tom will continue to spend endless hours working online, fine tuning his ancestry.

We will bring with us, into this new life of world travel, who we are, our endless peculiarities, our annoying habits, our comfortable and seemingly pointless rituals and of course, some of our stuff.  I don’t think we’ll bring paper towels or toilet paper but then again…

We lost a friend…

Sue, Pippy & Chip

Writing and dreaming of our upcoming world wide travels seems trivial and self serving at the moment.  Today is a day to write about our friend Chip who embarked on his own journey last night at 8:45 PM.

With his devoted wife Sue at his side day after day, he struggled to maintain a grasp on this precious life he so treasured, one filled with love, family, friends, creative endeavors and a purposeful lifelong career as an orthopedic surgeon. We surely will miss him.  

Rather than turn this tribute into a mournful array of the overused words, we often hear at the passing of a special person, it feels right to tell the story of the life altering influence this man and his lovely wife have had in our lives for the past 26 years.  

They happened to be neighbors, four doors away, on the peninsula.  Yes, I will admit that we became friends due to the close proximity. But, we stayed friends due to the love, the laughter, the lively banter, the shared view of the world, the common sorrows we freely discussed, the fine glass of red wine and the plate of enticing foods, lovingly prepared with each other in mind. Oh, yes, we surely will miss him.

Chip loved people.  Chip loved dogs.  Many years ago, we had the privilege of sharing our lives with a quirky little Australian Terrier, Bart, who lived a short five years of life, run over my our mailman in front of our home.  

During those five happy years, Chip & Sue shared their home with their adorable Australian Shepherd, Pippy.  Bart and Pippy were best friends, as if they knew were both Australian, occasionally hanging out with their friend Peabody, a delightful dog of uncertain descent who lived further down the road. 

Living on a private road with little regard for any leash laws, the three of them roamed freely on the point frequently stopping by neighbor’s homes for a treat which invariable resulting in many chuckles.  They were cartoon characters. 

At times, we walked into Chip and Sue’s home to find our Bart sleeping on their sofa cuddled up next to Pippy. When Bart died in 1996, Chip cried with us, reminiscing with tear filled eyes, and again many times over the years.  

We’d visit the spot in our yard where we lay him to rest, telling funny stories: One warm summer day, when independent Bart was but a year old, we saw a canoe pass by as we lounged in our lawn chairs near the water, on a perfect sunny day.

We didn’t recognize the people in the canoe but, we realized that the dog inside the canoe standing on his hind legs looking over the edge at us was our Bart!  It was if he was saying, “Hey, Mom & Dad, look at me!” He was in a canoe with Sherry, Chip and Sue’s adult daughter, whom we barely knew at the time.  We howled then and many more times over the years.

Chip, a talented sculptor, created one of his first projects of a man sitting with two dogs at his side, Bart and Pippy.  And then, we cried some more.  Yes, we surely will miss him.  

When Pippy’s life was to end, Tom drove Pippy and Chip to the vet while Tom took Pippy inside for his final journey.  Chip stayed outside.  It was too painful to let go.  We all cried some more.

And there was the laughter and the happy hour boat rides with the bouncing appetizers and cocktails, the fun dinner parties back and forth, summer after summer, year after year. Then there were the birthdays that Tom, Chip and Doug (the neighbor and friend in between our houses), all shared on December 23 that we often spent together.  

Sue and I often struggled to decide on what special event to plan for the birthdays, so painfully close to an already packed Christmas season.  One year, I made a cake with one half chocolate, one half white, decorated with each of their names and own decor on their own side.  We laughed, had more cocktails and ate cake.

Chip and Sue were the epitome of a happily retired couple.  In later years, living half the year in Florida and the other half here at the point we stayed in touch counting the days until they returned in late spring to a fun filled summer on the peninsula.

Several years ago, Tom and I came to realize that we wanted to be just like them when we retire, our role models; in love, doing that which we love to do and most of all, spending valuable time together.  Their relationship represented a life of retirement that we all aspire to; having traveled, spending time together and with those they loved and, never failing to admire and respect one another.

Grief, an unwelcome visitor, appears at our door. We let it in, knowing that it brings not only sorrow and sadness, but a wealth of happy memories to soften the blow and to see us through to the other side, which ultimately is gratitude.

Gratitude, for feeling so deeply for him. Gratitude, for the experience of knowing him.  Gratitude for the lessons we’ve learned from him.  Gratitude, for the example he set, the love he freely gave and the legacy he leaves behind.  Yes, we will surely miss him. 

Goodbye, dear Chip. Whenever we go, however long we are gone, you will be in our hearts.

Memorial weekend thoughts…

As we are lounging in the comfy chairs, Indy 500 on the TV in the background, an odd sensation washed over me.  This will be the last Memorial weekend we’ll spend in this house. 

While anticipating the necessary chopping and dicing in order to prepare the shish kabob dinner we’ll cook on the grill tonight, my mind is not so much on the race and chopping as it is on the realities facing us moving forward.
Today is Day #7 with no coffee for me.  Our Miele coffee machine died last week requiring a $1000 repair.  We decided to quit drinking coffee rather than invest in the repairs or purchase a new coffee machine at this late a date.  

I love coffee.  Tom is ambivalent.  For me, a proper cup of coffee requires the requisite two tablespoons of real cream, two packs of Stevia and two drops of liquid Splenda (my vice) to ensure it is tasteful and also low carb.  Tom prefers powdered cream and real sugar, which he forfeited nine months ago when we committed to the gluten free, low carb, sugar free, wheat, grain and starch free lifestyle.  

The question becomes: “Is it worth continuing to drink coffee when we each require specific “add-ins” that may not be readily available throughout the world.” So seven days ago, I said: “Bye, bye coffee” and “Hello, tea.” Tom doesn’t drink tea, except when iced. Tom also gave it up. Luckily, no headaches or cravings for either of us.

Many of these situations arise, causing us to question the continuation of a particular habit by using products that may be impossible to find abroad. Do we really want to haul large quantities of certain items in our  overloaded bags? Probably not.

So, I started making a list (how unusual of me!), of the items we have used and loved all these years.  Here are only a few of the many habits we must break:
  1. US TV:  We currently have three multi-room DVRs.  We have dozens of shows taping around the clock (many we never have an opportunity to watch) to ensure we are entertained upon deciding to lounge in these comfy chairs in the evening or on a weekend. No more watching!
  2. US Radio:  We each have our favorite radio shows we enjoy while driving. No more listening!  It uses too much data to listen on our laptops.
  3. Smart Phones: We’ve had unlimited service for talk, text and internet.  In the middle of any night, when I can’t sleep, I listen to Dr. Joy Brown‘s most recent podcast to lull me back to sleep. And, what about talking freely to family and friends on the phone?  It will be Skype in the future.
  4. eBay Shopping.  Want to buy something?  I look online at retail stores and buy it from eBay or Amazon, or through a multitude of other discount sellers. We won’t be able to receive packages along the way considering the delivery time and shipping fees to wherever we may be. No more online shopping!
  5. No Cars: It would be foolish to bear the expense of owning cars, paying for insurance, licensing and storage.  We calculated this expense at about $1500 a month. We will rent OPC (other people’s cars). No more driving one’s own car!
  6. King-sized Sleep Number Bed:  We have the over-sized Sleep Number California King Sleep Number bed whereby the head and foot rises upon command from a remote.  Oh, we sure will miss our bed when sleeping in OPB (other people’s beds) with possible bed bugs, dust mites, uncomfortable mattresses and who know what else? Yikes! We will be packing our own hypo-allergenic mattress and box springs covers. No more comfy bed!
  7. Fresh Produce: We have salad every night with dinner. It’s often my favorite part of dinner with our limited diet; adding low carb veggies, nuts, grated cheeses and fresh bacon bits. Marcia, the travel nurse at Park Nicollet Travel Clinic advised against consuming any fresh produce, except in the US, Canada and Europe.  The risk of disease is high. Salads, fresh fruit, raw veggies?  No more raw veggies or salad!
  8. Toiletries, Sonic Toothbrush (too heavy) and Cosmetics:  Oh, no!  This is tricky for me as a daily user of a wide array of cosmetic items, all paraben-free and mostly organic products (when possible).  Many of these items will not be readily available and, many of which I usually purchase online.  I’ll pack as much as possible purchasing whatever is available in other countries.
  9. Favorite Foods: Will they have sugar free items, almond meal, coconut flour (gluten free flour we can use), coconut oil, unsweetened Greek yogurt, Crystal Lite Iced Tea, Himalayan Salt, unsweetened coconut milk,   protein powder?  Grass fed meat?  Free range eggs?  No more familiar foods!
  10. English: Will anyone understand us? Or will we understand them? Perhaps, no English in some countries!
  11. Newspaper: Tom reads the StarTribune newspaper seven days a week from front to back, practically memorizing every word that he reads. He is my go-to person for local and world news updates.  I always joke that he reads the paper so thoroughly that he even reads the page numbers! No more paper, Tom!
  12. Working Out:  It’s highly unlikely there will be a health club within the three familiar miles I have traveled several times a week for many years. It appears there are no health clubs within an hour’s drive of many of our vacation rental homes. I guess I will start doing lunges and pushups at home.  No more health clubs!
Without a doubt, we will say “goodbye” to many of the familiar items and rituals we’ve enjoyed over the years.  But then, we’ll be saying “hello” over and over and over again!

No more entertaining guests…Our typical menu when entertaining guests…

Our made-from-scratch banana cream pie with meringue topping.
(Note the watermelon in the background for size reference)

We haven’t had many guests visiting lately.  Our house is upside down in varying stages of packing, organizing and rearranging in almost every room.   

Living on a lake all these years, we have frequently entertained friends either for a party of a few or of many, or for a couple or small group.

Our 6″ tall fresh strawberry creme, puff pastry Napoleon

As a passionate and enthusiastic cook/baker, coupled with Tom’s expertise as a sous chef, bottle washer and host, it was always pure pleasure to prepare the menu, shop for the ingredients and setting a well coordinated table with fresh flowers, linen napkins, matching place mats, and fine dinnerware.  

Prior to the arrival of our guests, we’d print a colored copy of the menu, each placed neatly at the individual place settings in an effort to enhance the experience for our guests.

Here is one of the many menus we saved, on this occasion presented on pretty holiday stationery:

Menu Holiday Gathering 
of Favorite Clients & Friends

December 16, 2006

First Course – Appetizer
Brie
Cheese with Apricot in Puff Pastry
Homemade
Pickled Herring Salad 
with Sesame Honey Crisps
Second Course
Shrimp
Cocktail with Tangy Cocktail Sauce 
& Lemon Wedge
Third Course
Two
Soups Served, Swirled in a Single Bowl Topped 
with Buttery 
Sautéed Morel
Mushrooms
  • Creamy
    Lobster Bisque
Vichyssoise,
served warm
Fourth Course
Salad with Belgian Endive,
Radicchio &  Hearts of Palm 
with Gorgonzola, Walnuts

& Lightly Sprinkled with a Delicate

Raspberry Vinaigrette

Fifth Course
Fillet
Mignon with Porto
bello Burgundy Sauce
Steamed Kings Crab Legs with Clarified Butter
Garlic Mashed Potatoes
French Green Beans, Drizzled 
with Lemon Tarragon Butter
Sixth Course – Dessert
Classic
Homemade Vanilla Crème Brule
Goldschlager,
Cinnamon Flavored Liqueur 
with Flecks of Gold
Cappuccino
with Chocolate Curls

By 2:00 am, guests will have departed with full bellies, slightly tipsy from copious glasses of well chosen red or white wine while Tom and I, smiling from ear to ear, rush about the kitchen putting everything back in order to nary a dirty dish or glass in the sink or a crumb on the floor. 
Our guests appeared to have had a great time and we were content to have shared our home, our food and our wine along with a certain sense of ease we somehow acquired over the years as host and hostess.  Expensive? Yes!  Worth it? Yes!  

We’ve always justified the expense of entertaining due to the fact that we seldom spent money on vacations, dining out or purchasing carry out dinners (once or twice a year at the most) preferring fresh, homemade meals.

Last August, we both became ardent advocates of the low inflammation diet, which includes committing to become wheat free, grain free, starch free, sugar free, totally gluten free and low carb.  

In the past, I frequently baked desserts just for the two of us finding as much enjoyment in the preparation as in the process of eating the delectable result.

So here we are, five months and six days away from our departure to a new and adventuresome life.  No longer will we entertain guests as we continue to pack, examining the threads of our lives and of our memories, leaving so much behind, taking so much with us.  

No longer will we sit in these oversized comfy chairs with a generous portion of homemade pie on a pretty plate, languishing in the simplicity of our homemade lives, requiring so little, gaining so much. 

We’ll make new friends along the way.  We’ll prepare homemade dinners with the simple foods of the area to share with the new friends minus the perfectly pressed and folded linen napkins, placemats and pretty plates.  

Family and old friends will visit from time to time.  We’ll make their favorite dinners, reminiscent of a time past, scouring the local farms and markets for the appropriate ingredients in an effort to recreate the familiarity.  

We’ll smile as we tidy up someone else’s kitchen, wash someone else’s plate, wipe up the crumbs from someone else’s floor, all the while hoping that our guests have had a great time.  

We’ll be content to have shared someone else’s home with the food and the wine typical for the location with that same certain sense of ease we somehow acquired over the years as host and hostess.

Tire of traveling?…BugsAway clothing?…

The topic of tiring of traveling may become a frequent point of discussion, particularly once we are “on the road.”  We’ve frequently been asked this question by friends and family members.

Traveling for years, as opposed to the usual one or two weeks or, for a retired few, a month or more, may become tiresome after a while. With 949 days booked out from this upcoming Halloween, it is difficult to draw upon any prior experience to use as a reference as to how we will physically and emotionally handle moving from location to location all over the world.

Tom and I often discuss this topic, invariably easing our minds by this simple fact:  We will rarely stay in one location (except for the one week in Las Vegas next December) for less than one month, most often staying for two to three months or more.

After one month or more, we will have had the fine opportunity to become familiar with the area, made friends, forgotten about the burden of our bags (our biggest nemesis) and be excited to move on.  As we peruse our itinerary we can visualize a certain ease we will acquire as we anticipate an upcoming location with enthusiasm and childlike wonder, lessening the burden of packing up and moving on.

There are a few travel burdens that hover in my mind; the required three airplane trips to three of our locations:  Kenya (for three months), South Africa (for three months) and later, the island of Madeira, Portugal (for two and a half months).

We aren’t afraid of flying.  We simply have little tolerance for the commotion at an airport; the waiting, the crowds, the security check and most of all, the baggage restrictions.  
The cruise lines have minimal restrictions on the number of bags that a passenger may bring aboard.  Thus, we can take everything we need for the 949 days and then barely enough to get by, in the above referenced locations when we have no alternative but to fly: one checked bag and one carry-on each.  We are considering some storage options for these ten months to avoid the expense of excess baggage fees which can run upwards of $1000 extra per person, per bag.

Tiring of travel, while living in vacation homes is highly unlikely.  If we do give up along the way, it would most likely be a result of illness, the painstaking process of packing and hauling our bags, or the necessity of more air travel than we’d prefer which may be the final “deal killer.”   Of course, whatever happens, we will post it here.

Tom always reassures me by saying, “We won’t be on vacation. We’ll simply be living life, in a variety of locations.  What will we do if we tire of it?  Take a break for three months and relax??  We will be staying for three months in many locations, sometimes longer, with ample time to regroup and relax, preparing us for the next adventure.  

This morning, with little piles of mostly newly purchased clothes on my bed, I made an assessment of any additional items I may need. We had decided to bear the expense of purchasing new clothing for both of us.  Over the past several months, Tom has lost 25 pounds from our gluten free, sugar free, grain free, starch free and wheat free diet. Nothing fits him.  
There seemed little point in packing older, overly worn and overly washed items, knowing we’d be gone for this extended period. Since these may be the only items I will be wearing over the next three years, plus a few purchases along the way, puts an entirely different spin on  packing.
As an accomplished bargain hunter with little interest in shopping at large malls or strip mall stores, we make 90% of our purchases online, all brand names, quality clothing befitting our travels.  

Often, I will find items at the major retailers and then proceed to make the actual purchases at eBay, all new with tags, at less than half the price.  Whether bidding on items or purchasing with BUY IT NOW, the process is fun and rewarding. Tom and I are both easy to fit, making it a rarity to return an item.  

Most sellers are very willing to handle returns.  Reading the reviews and rankings from past purchasers is a good clue as to how the seller will handle any issues.  We tend to avoid sellers with less than a 95% satisfaction rating, clearly visible on the site.

Another website we have used for years is Amazon.com. In the past week, we purchased a replacement bulb for our LCD TV (wouldn’t you know?), retailing for $125 in local stores, $85 at most websites.  It was only $40 at Amazon with free SUPERSAVER shipping.  They stand behind all purchases offering an easy return policy.  The bulb arrived in two days.
Today it took two large rubber bins to hold my clothes until we actually begin the packing.  This will translate into two large suitcases. This is frightening. It’s time to get to work on Tom’s wardrobe next, an easier proposition.  

While writing this post, I heard a knock at the door.  The UPS driver handed me a large box from Sierra Trading Post. I placed an order with them last Thursday for the following items shown that arrived in the box: two BugsAway baseball caps, four pair BugsAway socks, one pair men’s BugsAway convertible pants (unzips to shorts) and one long (roll-up) sleeve BugsAway men’s shirt, all retailing for a total of $299.  

As shown in the receipt below, I paid $130.25 for everything!  That’s why it pays to search for great prices online.  Sierra Trading Post  included a 20% off coupon for my next purchase. That’s some fun online shopping!  

A start on Tom’s BugsAway clothing for Africa with 2 pairs of socks and a cap for me!
Receipt for $130.25 for all the above clothing, retailing for $299!
Next “buggie” night, Tom and I will put on our BugsAway caps, socks, pants and shirts and see if the mosquitoes will dine elsewhere.  Otherwise, back in the box with the included return shipping label!

Too much togetherness???…

  1. When describing our upcoming travel plans, we’re often asked the same two questions:
  2. What happens if we tire of traveling? (I will address this in the next post)
  3. How will we comfortably exist at each other’s side, day after day, night after night, week after week, month after month and ultimately, year after year?
Tom and I met 21 years ago.  On a blind date with a dud, whom I ditched when I went to the ladies room to call a girlfriend to join me at another hot spot for a night of fun. The jerk had lied about himself, was a full head shorter than me (another one of his lies) and was wearing a pair of pink and black zebra zubaz (remember those?)

With no guilt about leaving him behind, my friend and I met at a well-known, now defunct nightclub for a “girls night out” of dancing, drinking and playful banter. That’s the night I met Tom.  Baring the details of our first few rocky years, four years later we decided to marry, much to our mutual surprise.  He always says I married him for his health insurance and I always say he married me for my high heels.

My two sons were adults (my eldest son was living in Las Vegas).  My younger son lived here in Minnesota as did Tom’s adult son and daughter.  We were determined that somehow our families would blend with harmony. After a time, they did.

Having both failed at previous marriages and determined to make this one work, we muddled our way through the first tough few years to settle into what has proven to be an inseparable bond of love, support, compassion and trust.  We like each other.  We enjoy each other’s companionship.  

Along the way, we have discovered 10 aspects of our relationship that have been vital in enhancing our adoration and love for one another and our ability to spend long periods of time together that has worked well for us:
  1. We don’t snip.  Snipping, snapping and expressing signs of annoyance is sure fire “deal killers.”
  2. We don’t nag.  Ask once, ask twice or ask three times.  We maintain a pleasant and genuine sound in our voices. It seldom takes a second “ask” to encourage the other to participate in the task.
  3. Don’t complain.  Whining is a pointless, childlike behavior we choose to avoid.  Although. Tom may whine or moan a little when he’s sick. It’s a guy thing. 
  4. Listen. Tom’s obsessed with Ancestry.com.  No matter how deeply his head is buried in his computer, he looks up at me and listens when I talk. Over the years I’ve been obsessed with health, diet, fitness, food, technology and of course, the endless array of information on the Internet, now centered on travel. I, too, drop whatever I am doing to listen to him, although not quite as quickly as he does.  He doesn’t complain when I don’t immediately respond (refer to #3 above).
  5. We share our common interests and encourage one another to have separate interests.  We are different.  It is these very differences that make us interesting to one another.  We are supportive of each other’s ideas and opinions, not always agreeing. But disagreeing with interest and support for each other’s passionate viewpoint .  
  6. We make an effort to stay appealing to one another.  We smell good, wear fresh clothes, attempting to look as good as our aging bodies will allow. We try to be playful, tease endlessly, laugh, laugh and then laugh some more.
  7. We kiss “hello,” “goodbye,” and “goodnight” and… for no reason at all, many times a day. We often touch as we walk by, lock eyes or smile for no reason at all.
  8. We are compassionate.  We comfort each other during times of sorrow, disappointment, concern, emotional or physical pain or discomfort.  
  9. We are patient.  I am a “bull in a China shop,” often dropping and breaking things.  He never judges me.  He observes and smiles, glad he didn’t do the breaking.  He is a determined and highly capable “fix it” guy. When frustration sets in, I try to step back and let him figure it out at his own pace.  This is hard for me. I could be very bossy. But, I’m not. 
  10. We dream together.  For us, the concept of building a dream, however realistic, creates lively, animated discussion, shared research and enthusiast speculation. Over the years, some of our dreams, as yours, have “wafted away” as unfulfilled expectations.  

But this time together, side by side, day after day, week after week, month after month and ultimately year after year, we will do more than just “comfortably exist.”  We will enjoy living this dream together

Everyday life prevails, for now…

Saturday, we attended one of our precious grandson’s 4th birthday party at Choo Choo Bob’s in St. Paul, a delightful toy train store, an ideal location for a birthday party catering to both young and old train aficionados. 

A bevy of youngsters full of boundless energy reveled in the overly stimulating environment, hungry for the delivered pizza, clawing at the freshly cut fruit, devouring the crunchy chips while thirsty for the low sugar juice sippers, while caught up in a frenzy of wonderment as they scrambled to get their hands on the next train display within reach. 

We couldn’t wipe the smiles off of our faces, watching three of our total six grandchildren darting about Choo Choo Bob’s. As they scurried by they’d look our way with sparkly eyes and wide smiles hankering for a moment’s approval from their Grandma and Grandpa, pleased to have us there with them as witnesses to their childish frivolity, as we were pleased to be there with them. 

The two hours flew by in a blur. A few of the adults, friends of son Greg and daughter-in-law Camille were obviously aware of our upcoming adventure, asking questions and offering much welcomed tidbits of travel wisdom.  

As Tom and I sat side-by-side in our two well-placed chairs with thighs touching, we had full view of the festivities. From time to time our eyes would meet and we’d smile at one another, the little crinkles around our eyes accentuating our advancing age. 

It was a mixed bag, this day of celebration of this little boy, full of energy and curiosity, already a unique personality of adorable quirks and mannerisms with the ability to chatter on endlessly about the simplest topics.  He could talk about “ants” for an hour, tilting his adorable little head to emphasis a point which invariably provokes a guttural laugh in the listener. It was his day.  He deserved it.  

But..all the while the aching reality looms over me. We will miss many of these milestones in their lives over the next number of years. How long? We don’t know at this point.  

Many retiring baby boomers move to warmer climates throughout the US such as, Florida, California, Arizona, North Carolina and more, often to senior communities, far away from family.  Many seniors move to tax free states to increase their spendable income in these tough economic times.  

They find a way to work it out, to spend holidays together, to show their love and to continue to be a vital influence in the lives of their grandchildren, that which we relish on yet another special day, today…Mother’s Day.  

May all the mothers and grandmothers find today a memorable day filled with love, purpose and fulfillment. 

Who are we kidding?… We’re not unique!…

Had it not been for my dear husband Tom’s 42 years of hard work, this dream would have been but a dream, along with all the “would have,” “could have,” and “should have” that we all carry in the emotional baggage we haul around throughout our lives. We think we are unique, but we’re not.

In my 40’s, I gave up the dream that I’d ever find the perfect mate after two failed marriages, and then Tom miraculously appeared. At 50, I let go of the dream of a hugely successful business that would provide a lifetime of financial security, a fancy lifestyle and accepted the reality of being middle class.    

At 62, I threw in the towel and retired, after 45 years of hard work, grateful for the experiences, grateful for a fabulous marriage, grateful for family and friends, and grateful for endless stories we will tell our grandchildren of the lessons we’ve learned along the way. That’s quite typical!

We were anticipating the “usual” retirement; living in a condo in a warm climate, visiting family for holidays, summers, and special occasions, playing bridge with new friends, preparing for a neighborhood dinner party, and acquiring a newly found affinity for “The Price is Right.” This works for most retirees. This would have worked for us. Hardly unusual!

We are a cheerful, animated, and upbeat couple that over these past 21 years together have managed life’s challenges, myriad health issues, and the loss of loved ones, unfailingly supporting one another with love, compassion, dignity, and grace. This is what most people do. Nothing special here!

We have accepted the physical changes most of us experience as we age; sagging skin, hairy ears (Tom, not me), bushy brows (Tom, not me!) wrinkles, creaking joints, aching backs (mostly me), and middle of the night potty breaks (me, not Tom) resulting in poor sleep. That happens to many of us!

Over the years we’ve adopted a healthy lifestyle, enjoying homemade, organic low carb meals, grass-fed meats, fistfuls of supplements, exercising (mostly me), low alcohol consumption, and Tom’s continuing effort to quit smoking.  

But old age keeps coming’ at us no matter how hard we try to avoid it. We aren’t exempt. We each have our few prescriptions that once a month I put into our own little pill cases, another sign of advancing age.

Last night, as we sat in our respective comfy fat-stuffed chairs, computers on our laps; Tom, working on his ancestry stuff, me, working on travel information, I looked at him and smiled, thinking, “I can’t believe he’s willing to do this.” He turned his head toward me asking, “What are you looking at?” his voice, playful and obviously fishing for a compliment. That’s to be expected!

“Oh, I’m just thinking about how much I love you and that we have so much to look forward to,” I said, as a warm wave rolled over me. 

“Same here, Sweetie and yes, we do,” he said while his bright blue eyes wandered back to his laptop. In seconds, he was entrenched in the census’s recently posted on ancestry.com totally tuning me out. I smiled to myself and turned back to my laptop. How typical is that?